Don't should on yourself
I have developed the terrible habit of shoulding on myself: I should do that; I should blog more; I should return his phone call; I should finish that project; I should clean the office.
Should is a dangerous word. It conveys a sense of obligation. Failure to follow through with things you should do leads to guilt. Guilt is demotivating.
Should kills discipline. It allows you to entertain the notion of doing something without committing to it. It tempts you to procrastinate the things you want and need to do do.
Replace “should” with “will” or “will not”. Don’t should on yourself.
6 Comments
In other words, “will or will not, there is no should.”
Derek Kastner: Exactly. I tried to work that quote in, but didn’t like it.
I have a similar outlook on the word “try.” I frequently hear people say, “Well I’m trying!” Or, “If only I had tried harder,” or “I will try to do that later.”
You either do it or you don’t. There is no “try” :). And if you say, “I’ll try to do that later” you’re really just saying, “its not important enough for me to do.”
I think try & should could be synonymous.
See I disagree with Dave Woodward, you have to try before you succeed (or fail). If none of us tried, we would never know the meaning of success or failure and thus would never know how to improve. You must always “try”, its not trying that is bad. I should is different in a sense that Brandon has stated that it states an obligation. To be blunt you should always at least try.
Right, should can be a burden. But it’s better to say should than test ;) and I think that trying is a good habit after which one can say I will or I will not.
Yeah, I get the spirit of this post; but I’ll need to see my therapist in order to have any hopes of banishing “should”. Still, it is something I should strive for!
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